Tonight, I’m left in a battle with myself. Unlike other nights, I’m not wondering why I love you, I’m wondering why I gave up so fast. And who is to blame. Is it me who gave up when you refused to say something or you, who refused saying something?
Too many times, knight. Too many times I gave clues. Other days I forged sleep talking, only so you could get the desires in me I couldn’t boldly state. Sadly, my million clues yielded no result.
Everyday, I prayed and hoped against hope that you’d somehow see me more than you did. I hoped one day you’d figure out, the numerous times I became your hero saving the day was because my love for you exceeded friendship. Darling, I waited in silence for you to prove just how wise you say you are. But baby, you never did. I died slowly, waiting for you to say something.
Years went by. Friends came and left but we still stood tall. Our families became a family through our bond. Isn’t that enough to make us seal this bond? But still, nothing.
I lingered at the edge waiting for a little force to make me leave or stay. Nature never fails to fill up a vacuum. Someone did what you couldn’t, someone said something.
Last night, I chose to be happy. Many nights I had prayed that you’d say something and make last night not happen. But, no! You were too busy being a friend. When all I yearned for was more. Last night, I went with the one whose love was made known. Last night, I said ‘yes’ to him.
No, I didn’t and still do not love him as much as I love you. But I’m done painting pictures in the dark. I’m done waiting for a reality that might only be in my dream.
At least, so I thought. Until I woke up this morning to a beautifully decorated parlour. With a note, which read “be my girl- Des”.
Life could never be more cruel. What happened to 3 years of silence. Why didn’t you speak up before last night? You just had to wait till I gave up on you saying something.
Today, I’m owned by another yet in love you. Jaynebri